how many days

By my calculations it has been 527 days since we altered our lives because of a novel coronavirus. I hate this virus.

Today, A was tested at school because a teacher in her building is sick. X turns one tomorrow. Yesterday, T had his rotator cuff repaired. In 31 days, my father will undergo heart surgery. And 21 days ago, my Ammachy made her final journey towards peace and rest.

It was 260 days ago I started what might end up being the best job of my life, but I frequently consider quitting to keep my loves at home, with me, safe from the contagion of the world around us. People in my city, my county, my state choose not to take precautions. And so, my family must. We must be satisfied with the tiny world we have created around us. Childcare. Family. Outdoor spaces and the occasional brief visit to a store, followed by guilt and anxiety that I have somehow exposed my babies to a virus that could seriously harm them.

How many more days?

I have not seen my sisters since March 2019. I have not seen my parents since January 2020. That is 599 days. It is too many days, Lord. Too many.